This page helps us to create space in our hearts and mind for God by exploring
Advent is a special time in the Church. Enjoy these relections from Bishop Robert Barron that can help us grow closer to God and one another during this time.
"You shall lvoe the Lord your God with all your heart, wtih all your soul, with all your mind and all your strength. . . . You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these"
Mark 12: 30-31
Studies that document the benefits of charging phones outside our bedrooms:
"I am so sick of that $#%*&%$$& phone!"
A couple years ago, a parent confessed to me that his 13 year old daughter's constant immersion in her phone frustrated him so much that he pulled his car over, took the phone, threw it out the sunroof and drove away. Not his best moment. He ended up replacing the phone and apologizing. But, he continued, "What are we supposed to do about these phones?"
Our Kids and Technology section includes a lot of techniques for managing screentime. But the hard truth is that, though there are many reasons that our kids are so fascinated with screens, at bottom, they are drawn to screens because we hunger for true intimacy. If we don't find true intimacy we are going to seeek it somewhere.
We can't just disconnect our children from phones without redirecting them to something that will satisfy their desire for intimacy more constructively. Our job as parents is to help them establish a relationship with God and with other people. This will help them redirect their energy in a more constructive way.
In his Confessions, St. Augustine tells us something we all need to know:
"O God you made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they rest in you."
God designed us for communion with Him. This means that as long as we are not with Him in heaven we long for Him with an infinite desire. So many of our problems are rooted in us trying to satisfy this desire with something else. As parents, it is our job to help our children know that they have this hunger and to help them direct it constructively.
In On Christian Doctrine, St. Augustine teaches that God made us for relationship and our spiritual health depends upon us by getting our priorities straight when it comes to three types of relationship:
Working with parents, I often hear parents grumble that kids who have grown up around cellular phones and tablets their whole lives are incapable of communicating like prevous generations. It's not that these kids are incapable of good communication. It's just that they need practice.
Speaking face to face demands a sophisticated set of skills that take time to develop. Children who grew up with social media and texting readily available have spent a lot of time developing competencies at using those tools. It's not that the capabilties they developed with social media and texting are necessarily bad. Rather, the time that it took to develop those competencies came from somewhere.
It's not that young people are incapable of speaking well in person or on the phone. They just need more practice. As parents, we can help them to develop these communication skills. We can help by intentionally encouraging them in using these skills while also helping to ensure they do not displace the development of these skills by substituting social media.
Social media presents a tempting alternative to more direct communication. At a presentation at Archbishop Murphy High School this October, one student described Social Media as giving her a sense of power as if she was speaking to the world all at once. Social media gives us the sense that we are communicating like a celebrity to a large audience. This kind of communication lacks the feedback of a one on one conversation. It doesn't demand require vulnerability or listening on our part. It is much less initimate. Ultimately, it's a little like junk food. It feels good at first but doesn't satisfy.
Take time with your children to teach them the art of conversation. Encourage them to work at this skill like any other. Here are some other skills to consider helping them to develop:
Ultimately, as parents, the best thing we can do for our children if we want them to set aside unhealthy attachments to things like screens in favor of good relationships with God and other people is to help them grow in faith. By understanding the faith, participating in the sacraments, following the commandments and learning to pray, we grow in relationship to God and other people.