Office of Marriage & Family Life

As soon as you decide you want to get married in the Church, make an appointment to speak with the pastor of your parish, or the appropriate parish delegate who can facilitate the preparations for you.

Plan to contact your parish no less than six months prior to your desired wedding date, even if the date itself isn't firm. Communicating with your parish early will help you start out on the right foot in your planning. It also helps ensure that you and your parish have as much time as possible to make the necessary arrangements for the big day. 

Contact your parish before you make any other arrangements. It's important to make sure that your date is secured before making any other plans for the big day. 

If you are not getting married at your own parish, contact your home parish anyway. They can answer any preliminary questions you might have.  

Don't have a home parish but want to get married in a Catholic church? You can start by contacting the parish nearest to you, or the parish where you hope to hold your wedding ceremony. They can help answer any questions you might have, and point you in the direction of your next steps in the process. 

When you meet with your parish representative they will describe the preparation process, begin the necessary paperwork and set your tentative wedding date. The initial meetings will ensure that there is nothing standing in the way of a wedding in the Church and will help you understand the sacrament.

Your pastor knows that nothing is more helpful to a marriage than the relationship with Jesus established by the Sacrament of Marriage. The primary concern of your parish is to prepare you to receive the sacrament, more than the logistics of a ceremony itself. This might mean you need to do more prepatory work than expected, but trust us — it will be worth it!
 
If you have been away from the church for a while, don't worry — the Church welcomes you back with open arms! We encourage you and your fiancé/e to begin your wedding preparations by going to Mass. Celebrating the Eucharist together will help strengthen both of you through your engagement. And by making a commitment to go to Mass together on Sundays, you are also renewing your relationship with the Church and your parish community. 

Your parish will give you and your fiancé/e an assessment to help with marriage preparation (FOCCUS, Prepare/Enrich, etc.). This assessment will explore questions regarding matters ranging from family background, finances, children, and more. 

The goal of the pre-marital assessment is to help you learn more about one another. The process is meant to encourage open dialogue, and can help you explore your differences as well as your commonalities. 

When going through the assessment, it's important to be honest with yourselves and with each other. Some couples might feel tempted to answer the questions in a way that they feel paints them or their relationship in a good light. Remember that the goal of the assessment is to help you prepare for the sacrament and your lifelong commitment to one another. 

Each pastor evaluates the best marriage preparation curriculum and method depending upon the needs of the couple and the resources of the parish. Regardless of the method used,  you should anticpate that the program will explain the meaning of the Sacrament of Marriage and help prepare you to live the sacrament. Additionally, each marriage preparation program you receive should include:   

• A minimum six-month preparation period

• A minimum of 12 hours of instruction

• A process for determining the couple’s readiness for marriage

• Discussing and completing pre-marital documents and assessment tools (e.g., FOCCUS, PMI)

• Resolving marriage impediments (if any)

• Catechesis regarding the Sacrament of Marriage

• Discussing the theology of a Catholic marriage

• Planning the wedding in accordance to the Rite of Marriage of the Catholic Church

• Respect for cultural and family traditions

Natural Family Planning (NFP) represents one of the 100% natural and truly effective means of understanding fertility and providing couples a way to intentionally manage pregancy. Your marriage preparation program should provide you an introduction to this life-giving practice.

Learn more about NFP here.

Once you have completed your marriage preparation process through your parish, you will meet with the priest or deacon who will guide you in preparation for your marriage litrugy.

It is important to take the initiative to confirm that all the requirements related to your marriage have been addressed.