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Office of Marriage & Family Life

Archdiocese of Seattle

Search
  • Home
  • About
      • What We Do
      • Meet Our Staff
      • Request a Speaker
  • Marriage
    • For Couples
      • The Sacrament of Marriage
      • Discerning Marriage
      • Marriage Preparation
      • Marriage Enrichment
      • Parish Resources for Marriage
    • Family Planning
      • Natural Family Planning (NFP)
      • Regional NFP Teachers
    • More Resources
      • Infertility and Pregnancy Loss
      • Help for Marriages in Conflict
      • Divorce, Widowed and Grief Support
  • Family
    • At Home with Faith
      • Weekly Reflection
      • Faith Resources
      • Praying Together
    • Family and Technology
      • Make Space for God!
      • Great Conversations
    • More Resources
      • Find Calm
      • Made for Excellence
      • Going to Mass as a Family
  • Break Free
      • Break Free from Pornography
      • For Spouses Affected
      • For Parents Affected
      • Reconciliation
  • en Español
      • Recursos del Idioma Español
      • Preparación matrimonial para los casados civilmente
  • Resources
      • Supporting a Parent Formation Presentation
  • Calendar
    • Congratulations on your engagement!

      Ready to plan your Catholic wedding? 

      You've picked a great place to start. 

      Preparing for your wedding can be overwhelming, but it can also be very fruitful and strengthening for your relationship with your future spouse. Below are some helpful resources for engaged couples who are preparing to get married in the Catholic church. 

      If you haven't already done so, be sure to visit our Sacrament of Marriage page if you wish to learn more about marriage in the Catholic Church. There you will find plenty of helpful resources on the Catholic teachings on marriage, archdiocesan policies on matrimony, and preparing for your Catholic wedding. 

  • Overview: Planning Your Catholic Wedding

    • 1. Contact your parish
    • 2. Meet with your parish
    • 3. Pre-marital assessment
    • 4. Marriage prep
    • 5. Natural family planning
    • 6. Final steps
    1. Contact your parish
    • Step 1: Contact your parish

      As soon as you decide you want to get married in the Church, make an appointment to speak with the pastor of your parish, or the appropriate parish delegate who can facilitate the preparations for you.

      Plan to contact your parish no less than six months prior to your desired wedding date, even if the date itself isn't firm. Communicating with your parish early will help you start out on the right foot in your planning. It also helps ensure that you and your parish have as much time as possible to make the necessary arrangements for the big day. 

      Contact your parish before you make any other arrangements. It's important to make sure that your date is secured before making any other plans for the big day. 

      If you are not getting married at your own parish, contact your home parish anyway. They can answer any preliminary questions you might have.  

      Don't have a home parish but want to get married in a Catholic church? You can start by contacting the parish nearest to you, or the parish where you hope to hold your wedding ceremony. They can help answer any questions you might have, and point you in the direction of your next steps in the process. 

    2. Meet with your parish
    • Step 2: Meet with your parish

      When you meet with your parish representative they will describe the preparation process, begin the necessary paperwork and set your tentative wedding date. The initial meetings will ensure that there is nothing standing in the way of a wedding in the Church and will help you understand the sacrament.

      Your pastor knows that nothing is more helpful to a marriage than the relationship with Jesus established by the Sacrament of Marriage. The primary concern of your parish is to prepare you to receive the sacrament, more than the logistics of a ceremony itself. This might mean you need to do more prepatory work than expected, but trust us — it will be worth it!
       
      If you have been away from the church for a while, don't worry — the Church welcomes you back with open arms! We encourage you and your fiancé/e to begin your wedding preparations by going to Mass. Celebrating the Eucharist together will help strengthen both of you through your engagement. And by making a commitment to go to Mass together on Sundays, you are also renewing your relationship with the Church and your parish community. 

    3. Pre-marital assessment
    • Step 3: Take a pre-marital assessment

      Your parish will give you and your fiancé/e an assessment to help with marriage preparation (FOCCUS, Prepare/Enrich, etc.). This assessment will explore questions regarding matters ranging from family background, finances, children, and more. 

      The goal of the pre-marital assessment is to help you learn more about one another. The process is meant to encourage open dialogue, and can help you explore your differences as well as your commonalities. 

      When going through the assessment, it's important to be honest with yourselves and with each other. Some couples might feel tempted to answer the questions in a way that they feel paints them or their relationship in a good light. Remember that the goal of the assessment is to help you prepare for the sacrament and your lifelong commitment to one another. 

    4. Marriage prep
    • Step 4: Begin marriage preparation

      Each pastor evaluates the best marriage preparation curriculum and method depending upon the needs of the couple and the resources of the parish. Regardless of the method used,  you should anticpate that the program will explain the meaning of the Sacrament of Marriage and help prepare you to live the sacrament. Additionally, each marriage preparation program you receive should include:   

      • A minimum six-month preparation period

      • A minimum of 12 hours of instruction

      • A process for determining the couple’s readiness for marriage

      • Discussing and completing pre-marital documents and assessment tools (e.g., FOCCUS, PMI)

      • Resolving marriage impediments (if any)

      • Catechesis regarding the Sacrament of Marriage

      • Discussing the theology of a Catholic marriage

      • Planning the wedding in accordance to the Rite of Marriage of the Catholic Church

      • Respect for cultural and family traditions

    5. Natural family planning
    • Step 5: Explore Natural Family Planning

      Natural Family Planning (NFP) represents one of the 100% natural and truly effective means of understanding fertility and providing couples a way to intentionally manage pregancy. Your marriage preparation program should provide you an introduction to this life-giving practice.

      Learn more about NFP here.

    6. Final steps
    • Step 6: Prepare for the liturgy

      Once you have completed your marriage preparation process through your parish, you will meet with the priest or deacon who will guide you in preparation for your marriage litrugy.

      It is important to take the initiative to confirm that all the requirements related to your marriage have been addressed.

    • Marriage Preparation Programs

      Betrothed: A Preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage

      Betrothed invites couples to prepare for a joyful, lifelong marriage. Blending hands-on learning of practical life skills with excellent catechesis and insights from St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, this marriage-prep retreat is designed to impact on the quality of a couples’ communication, conflict resolution, and shared sense of mission. 

      Click here to read an article describing the Betrothed retreat experience. 

      Click here to learn more or sign up for their upcoming virtual retreat. 
       

      Engaged Encounter of Seattle

      Engaged Encounter is a nationally recognized organization that offers marriage preparation retreats across the country. Led by other experienced married couples, this is a great opportunity for engaged couples to get away for a weekend to focus on communication and strengthening of your relationship to prepare your for marriage. 

      Click here to watch a video about the Engaged Encounter retreat experience. 

      Click here to find the schedule of upcoming weekend retreats.
       

      Witness to Love

      Witness to Love has a new, exciting Sacramental Marriage Formation program just for couples in civil union seeking convalidation in the Catholic Church. This page is geared towards parishes, but also provides helpful information for couples seeking to have their marriage blessed in the Church.

      Click here to learn more. 

    • Getting married out of state? 

      If you are planning to get married in another state or country, begin by contacting the parish where you wish to do marriage preparation and let them know that you will be getting married out of state. They will guide through the paperwork that is needed, such as Baptismal certificates, witness statements, completion of marriage preparation paperwork. 

      They will have you and your fiancé/e take a pre-marital inventory and may also do counseling based on the results.

      Once you complete a marriage preparation program or engaged retreat, the parish will send all the paperwork to the Archdiocese of Seattle, who will then forward the paperwork to the appropriate diocese. A fee may be assessed with this transfer of paperwork, especially if it is out of the country. 

    • Getting your Marriage License

      If you are applying for a marriage license in Washington state, please contact the county where your wedding will take place. 

      If you are getting married in another state, please refer to state laws on how to obtain a marriage license.

      It is the responsibility of the couple to ensure this process is done correctly and on time. 

      Once you have the civil marriage license, please give the license to the parish wedding coordinator. 

      At the ceremoney, the bride and groom will immediately sign the marriage license and certificate along with 2 witnesses. The parish will submit the completed license to the state.

    • Annulments

      If you have questions about the annulment process, please contact the Archdiocese of Seattle Tribunal office at 206-382-4830 or 800-950-4926.

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